Insanely Sad

Do you know, the most saddest thing that could ever happen to you, is not the feeling of pain from losing someone, nor the feeling of a broken heart. Those emotions arrive at least for the reason you have had LOVE by your side. You experienced it, you bathed in it, and suddenly fall in a pit hole (present tense). You get 2 emotions: love and pain. Pain is different. That kind, kills you. Like a slash on the bone, or like you’re dying and you suddenly feel like you’re slipping away from what may be the last time you’ll ever see reality.

No my friends. For me (and only in my opinion), the saddest thing is to never have LOVE. You know the movie ‘The Phantom of the Opera‘. Just this time, try to scroll down to the credits and listen to the song. Minnie Driver sang it. Here’s the lyrics:

Child of the wilderness
Born into emptiness
Learn to be lonely
Learn to find your way in darkness

 Who will be there for you
Comfort and care for you
Learn to be lonely
Learn to be your one companion

Never dreamed out in the world
There are arms to hold you
You’ve always known your heart was on its own

So laugh in your loneliness
Child of the wilderness
Learn to Be lonely
Learn how to love life that is lived alone

Learn to be lonely
Learn to be your one companion

Never dreamed out in the world
There are arms to hold you
You’ve always known your heart was on its own

So laugh in your loneliness
Child of the wilderness
Learn to Be lonely
Learn how to love life that is lived alone

Learn to be lonely
Life can be lived life can be loved alone

Mr. Phantom was a very, very, sad man.  No one had loved him. He thought someone did, but really, no one.

The song “Learn to be Lonely” has got my heart bleeding. It’s not one of those hit pop songs out there which all of us can relate to, or try to relate to. But this particular song shoots a bull’s eye to those who have no chance of finding any love at all: maternal, paternal, familial, boyfriend/girlfriend, nada. Only a few out there can actually understand the essence of the lyrics. It is a love song, really, to one’s self.  You have to be a narcissist all the way, because no one can actually appreciate yourself better than… yourself. You’d rather die than to continue on without ever having anyone to love you. It’s the saddest notion of life. It is not deemed as terrible, as what Fantine in Les Miserables or other characters for the matter, has endured. This one, is actual sadness. It isn’t terrifying, it’s not the crawling feeling of a slowly chipped heart. It is sadness. Your heart was chipped right from the start. Pure and utter sadness. The one kind where everyone is to be blamed for doing nothing but also not to be blamed since we all know we can’t do what we think we must do.

It is sad, because you know nothing else. You can’t dream for something more. You have to be happy because you need to. Because it’s pathetic and you feel pathetic. A sluggish thought, really. All the same, it’s the only emotion, partnering you all the way ’til the end of time. So why not revel on it? eh?

And yet, I can’t imagine this kind of loneliness. I can’t relate to the song. I’m no longer a child but nor am I an adult to assume I know a lot.  It’s just the kind of lyrics that squeezes out whatever humanity you have left to feel. Let’s just say you focused all your humanity on this one for a moment. Assumption, for argument’s sake 🙂 .

Am I getting a bit emotional? Well my apologies, I couldn’t  hide it in any more. Knowing you will always be alone, maybe the suggestion isn’t quite cruel than I think. Learn to be Lonely? Hell, it’s even better than to open any possibility that someone cares but never had in the first place. Pat yourself on the back, Mr. Phantom old chap. You’ll always and forever be lonely in this world. But for God above, you have room there somewhere.  I am kind of crazy for consoling a fictional character but hey, these things do happen. Let a girl make her own world.

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2 Comments

  1. Hi Miss Clara, I just finished watching The Phantom of the Opera. I’ve seen it before a few times, but never made it to the last song Learn to be lonely, until today. Its lyrics struck me deeply: why, oh why should the “child of wilderness learn to be lonely” and not hope and strive for love, even if he never finds it. It also surprised me because songs, today, usually carry the “you’re never alone, I’m here with you” message, so this one was different. I agree, there is a genuine truth in it. But, I don’t agree with the sense of capitulation or fatalism to learn to live a lonely life and love a life lived alone. Ever since I’ve been in the States, that’s exactly what I’ve done: learn to be lonely, and I hate it.

    1. Hello kot fare, I wrote this almost 4 years ago and I reread it again. Thank you for disagreeing with me. I’m glad someone did!
      I do not know what you were/are going through but I will cheer you on! Bravo for not surrendering. For acknowledging your loneliness, I know you now have an emotionally solid reason (and determination!) to fight it. Sadness has already taken much of your life and also my life. It’s time to put a little joy in the mixture. What should you do? The answer is yours for the taking.

      If I could advice Mr. Phantom this time, I will tell him to write more operas and more songs, and to teach more people how to sing. His talents are still there for him, and his outputs will be loved way beyond his lifetime. Forgotten souls cannot even ask for that kind of love.

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